Wayne Isham/ Jive Records

"Britney to Play Lesbian Killer in Quentin Tarantino Film," blared London's Daily Telegraph.

The tab claimed the songbird of dubious acting talent (Crossroads, anyone?) was being stalked by the Pulp Fiction filmmaker to headline a remake of the 1965 Russ Meyer exploitation flick Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

The story got credulous play all over the Interwebs yesterday, including Daily Variety ("If true, she would be purrrrfect.") and the Los Angeles Times ("Hey, it kinda makes sense.").

And, of course, it's bunk.

E! News has definitively learned that Spears and Tarantino aren't hooking up.

"It's just a silly rumor," says a source close to Tarantino. "A funny rumor. But it's false."

There you have it, pussycat. Another London tab story killed, killed.