Ask the Answer B!tch

I'm confused. J.Lo recently said that she doesn't have any nannies taking care of her twins. But then I see pictures of her and Marc Anthony partying late at night and hanging out on the beach without their kids. So...is J.Lo lying?
—Mandy

How dare you, ma'am? You insinuate that Ms. Lopez is lying just because her kids did not accompany her to a May 23 business lunch, or the this year's Met Gala, or her June 13 private tour of her own 30-story ego? Perhaps she simply dropped off Max and Emme at the Gymboree—whichever location has the 800-thread-count nappy mats.

Yes, Lopez's people recently "confirmed" to US Weekly that she has yet to bring on a hired Mary Poppins for her four-month-olds. For the record, the babies also have "completely changed" the actress, blah blah blah. But veterans of the celebrity nannying scene doubt that Lopez is being entirely real.

Here's why...

Let's use a little logic here.

Obviously Lopez wouldn't leave her children alone or in her car, as plush as it might be. That leaves parents, friends or hired help. According to former Hollywood nanny Suzanne Hansen, big stars usually prefer some kind of hired help, and not just a random one-night sitter from a nanny agency.

"That's just really rare," explains Hansen, who authored a book on her experiences and who still maintains a network of A-list nanny informants. "Stars don't usually hire one-day sitters unless they're having a party or something and need a few people to watch a bunch of kids."

Which leaves us with nannies by another name.

"She probably has other people—not called nannies—who are taking care of her children," Hansen says. "She has assistants, housekeepers—someone like that who probably also likes kids and who is likely keeping an eye on them."

Even more likely, Lopez has taken a route common with other megastars and hired at least one baby nurse. Unlike nannies, baby nurses concentrate on putting newborns on a feeding and sleeping schedule and then take off when the kids are a few months older.

"It's a different word," Hansen reasons. "That may be how Jennifer is getting around the whole nanny claim. But really. She's so concerned with telling people she doesn't have caregivers that she says something so silly, insulting to our intelligence.

"You really think the teenager next door came over and babysat?"

If the sitter wears Prada—or is Prada, then sure, why not?

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